Not Happy But Content ♡


Someone asked me recently if I was happy and they asked in such a way that it was obvious they were expecting to hear a big, fat 'Yes' from me. So they were surprised when I said 'No, not really.'

They said, "What??? But you seem to be so happy." I smiled and said, "Well praise God for that. Because it's all Him. I'm content and at peace but I'm not happy, no."

My friend asked, "What do you mean? How can you not be happy but be content?"

I answered, "There are a lot of things in my life I'm not happy with. Things I don't like. Things I would change today if I could. For instance,  I don't like living on the mountain in the winter, so isolated. I don't like living so far from my family. I hate not being involved in my beautiful grandson's life and not getting to be a grandma. I don't like not getting to go to church, or being involved in a community, or getting to have family dinners and celebrations. I miss having fun with friends, teaching Sunday School and going to a Bible Study.

"But. I have prayed about all of this a thousand times and God has not seen fit to change it for me. So this must be where He wants me and I trust Him so I accept it as good. I accept that this is the very place I need to be whether I like it or not, even if I can't see why it's good. I want His will, not mine. He gets to choose. So I accept it and I am truly content and at peace.

"These may not be the circumstances I would choose, and I'm not 'happy' but my soul is at peace with God and there's nothing better than that. Nothing. He is my peace. He is my joy, not my circumstances. And that never changes. I'm so thankful."♡♡♡